My Life in Shambles Built Into A Beautiful Vessel.

A Vessel To Hold The Flowers Of His Love …

Fluctuation: Constant Change; Vacillation; Instability on The Way to…???

Who knows? Yes, the question remains in my mind constantly. Is beginning to amuse instead of angering me. Better yet, I have begun to check myself before I check the world around me. Wow! What a mouth full of such statement. But is the truth. What do I mean by checking myself? Well? Take for example my waking up today.

• Secrets were on my mind as I woke up.
• Thinking back & forth about what secrets buried deep within us are causing us such damage to our minds & bodies.
• Then I thought about the fact that I have no longer secrets within my being for I have exposed them all in my writings.
• Or? Have I done so?
• What? Now?
• That is something for me to explore before I talk with my mouth full.

Talking With My Mouth Full …?

What a finding as I checked the meaning of talking with one’s mouth full. Part of table manners that for the most is no longer in mode these days. From an etiquette expert I found something that applies to what came to me at this point of my journey.

Quote:

This rush-rush culture also translates into talking with a mouthful. Instead of swallowing first before expressing a view, the assumed wisdom is that it can’t wait; that everything is so fast-paced, we have no time to think, therefore we speak. End of quote.

No Time to Think …

Go! Go! Go! Step out of my way or I step over you!  It’s Wednesday, December 20, 2023, at 5:57 am, time for break to eat & reflect. Ha! I thought for sure I was to succeed in making a big batch of delicious pralines, wrong thinking! Hahaha! Major mess-up I have no idea how to get rid of it, maybe tossed it?

• Anyhow at least I got the mess isolated, I fixed and ate my breakfast, and I brushed my teeth, all I need to do is to finish the cleanup.
• But it is now 9:40 am, which means I have been at it for over 3 hours.
• That’s enough to put it all on hold until I recoup to plan how I will engage in the same task again.
• I just can’t be defeated by my failures.
• Get up and try again!
• Will do!

But Getting Back to The Point …?

You know what? Perhaps this mess-up is a lesson to think about any project that comes to my mind. O what a predicament! I guess this thinking bit is different than assuming anything you think about. I guess should have swallowed my thought about successful praline making. O well! Live & learn.

Back to Fluctuation: Constant Change; Vacillation; Instability on The Way to…?

Who knows? Honestly, whatever is my answer the truth is that I don’t know. Yes, I am experiencing the fluctuation of my earthly journey as well as I am experiencing a rise in the elevation of my hope for a promised future ingrained within my heart and mind. But, that doesn’t mean that I know. The question remains, who knows?

My Sense of Humor? O Well! …?

I find it amusing to hear the answer that indicates how wrong I am to express such a question, answer given by so many people. In other words, I should know that it is this way or that way. “I know the Word!” Some exclaim.

• Oops! Time for me to shut up.
• I know better than to state my stand like I used to do.
• Never mind that I no longer claim to “know” anything because like Job I was in the past speaking words without knowledge.
• But? Here lately, I have come to see that it is not up to me to correct any issue.
• All issues in this world are under the perfect control of the Almighty Creator of everything in existence.
• It’s now Wednesday, December 20, 2023, at 7:53 pm.
• Maybe head for bed?
• Up at 3:16 am on Thursday, December 21, 2023.
• In my mind: My life in shambles built into a beautiful vessel.
• Ha! That’s the headline for the post today or whenever it comes to me to post again.
• It’s now Friday, December 22, 2023, at 4:58 am

At The Umbral of Complete Healing …

Yesterday was a turning point in my healing progress. And this morning seem to me there is a turning point with my computer problems. But this is a mouth full, and I need to chew it up before I swallow it. I’ll wait to see what develops in the next few hours. For now, I shall lay down to rest, perhaps I’ll fall asleep. Friday, December 22, 2023, at 5:45 am. 8:09 am.

• New day, Saturday, December 23, 2023, at 5:20 am. Feeling much better.
• It’s now Sunday, December 24, 2023, at 2:24 am.
• I have been up for about 1 hour.
• I had an awful time falling asleep for the pain and congestion.
• When I fell asleep it did not feel like I had slept at all and I don’t know how long I slept.
• So much has transpired with this painful bout, hopefully it’ll be over today.
• I am starting fresh in the computer on Sunday, December 24, 2023, at 3:07 am.
• I don’t know what shall develop today, it is Christmas eve, much excitement and preparation for the party later and right now I don’t feel up the part to participate but I pray for the best.
• The stabs in my head and the congestion are still a problem, I don’t know what to do about it.
• Maybe I’ll laydown to rest perhaps I fall asleep.
• It’s now Sunday, December 24, 2023, at 3:30 am.
• Sunday, December 24, 2023, at 9:16 am.

My Christmas Gift 2023 …

I have been empowered to truly and for good forgive others as I forgive myself for hurts inflicted on each other in the past and in the present. Thus, my eyes have been opened to clearer see whatever was so obscure before. My mind & heart are now set supernaturally beyond my ability to explain. This is a gift for me of love, peace, joy inexplicable and full of esteem to be opened daily for the rest of my earthly days. How blessed I am!

• Monday, December 25, 2023, at 3:52 pm.
• It has been a wonderful day.
• Showered with gifts!
• Heading for bed.
• Up on Monday, December 25, 2023, at 11:14 pm.
• Working on graphic, My life was in shambles. Tuesday, December 26, 2023, at 8:08 am.

Can You Believe It …

The first words the Almighty spoke to my heart on August 8, 1985 coming to mind.

“I have been shaping you into a vessel, a beautiful vessel to hold flowers, beautiful flowers of love. These flowers are not yours, they belong to Me and I give them to whom I please. You are only holding them as they sit in the water of My love with which I have filled you.

You cannot give out these flowers on your own, because you are only a vessel holding them; but I will send you those to whom I have given the flowers you are holding. Some will pick just the flowers from you, and some will pick you up, and use you to bring good news and cheer to others. Rest in Me and hold My flowers.

The uprooted of my soul to a chaos world …

Building, shaping, shaping, until perfection

completes the building making …

Built Into a Beautiful Vessel

To Hold the Flowers of His Love …

From Shambles to The Perfect Foundation Of Love, Peace, Abundance, & Joy …

Inexplicable Full Of His Esteem …

Indeed! My life was in shambles, uprooted, fallen. That was in 1985. Steady the Master’s hand at work all those years to complete the restoration of the devastation. Victoriously now along with my girls on we are heading to the end of 2023 joyfully expecting 2024 to be as it may one way or another however it could sway, it shall be the best for the three & me.

Until the next post, lov, thia

New-Anew-Afresh Another Day …?

What Will It Be? …

The best to expect on this Sunday, November 12, 2023, at 3:31 am. All set for coffee then a good shower. Things are progressing. Need to restart computer on Sunday, November 12, 2023, at 3:09 pm. Monday, November 13, 2023, at 12:00 am. This has been a trying day with my computer.

Here We Go, Let Me Move to the Next Day …

That would be Monday, November 13, 2023, at 5:00 am. I have been up for about an hour taking care of my Monday chores. I am now beginning the process of reinstalling Windows 11 hoping to fix my computer problems. Well? It installed but it took me back to old versions of my files. I am just now figuring out how to overcome the problem.

• This is the time for me to change my working routine.
• The main thing is to attempt to learn new techniques taking advantage of the amazing improvements practically in all applications, especially the Windows 11 improvements.
• Not to mention Microsoft Office and Photoshop 2025.
• I really have the top of the cream of the top programs.
• I must live up to them.

But That’s My Thinking Right Off The Top Of My Head …

Of course, my thinking does not materialize as my thinking portrays to me. Tuesday, November 14, 2023, at 3:26 am I got up feeling lousy. I have been up since 1:30 am today. Yesterday was a time of reconsidering my decision to live up to my call and purpose for my life beginning at home. I have been working on a graphic to deliver a message to imply we are all doing the best we can. But things were not clicking upsetting my apricot. I want to deliver that message in the next post I am to post. Right now, I am frustrated, ready for coffee break.

I’ll See What Happens Next When …?

When wake next time It’s 11:23 am on this Tuesday, November 14, 2023, but it feels like the day has ended. Well? The day is finally ending for me. It’s 7:07 pm on Tuesday, November 14, 2023. Much satisfied with the graphic. I worked hard and still have to clean up but I am tired, I need to head for bed.

It seems to me that this life in the world does not change. Everything repeats constantly no matter what. I do not feel very optimistic right now. But that is Ok. One thing is for sure, I do not trust my feelings. Reality or the quality or state of being actual or true does not depend on my feelings. Rather, reality does not depend on feelings. Things are the way they are despite my feelings. But at the moment it came to me to look up the DM.

Reflecting On the Matter …

I am beginning to see where the DM motivations are coming from. Way back in Genesis 3:15 we are given a clue to what is happening today. In general, we do not compare our doings with the doings stated in the Bible. Yet, our doings synchronize what is happening today with the Bible. Therefore, the Bible stands firm despite humanity standards of today.

You Know What? It Never Ceases to Amaze Me …?

It never ceases to amaze me how this ‘Bible’ thing has driven me bananas from the very first time I laid my eyes in the pages of that 1^st copy of the Bible was laid in my hands to read. O mine, I was insulted! The young Baptist pastor realized that I was born Catholic and had never read the Bible plus English being my second language he figured to gift me the easiest to read version. But when I began to read the preposterous things to me that I was reading I surmise such version was written for ignorant people that had no command of the English language like I did. I got insulted!

So? I requested for a real Bible that would make sense instead of the copy given to me. Bless his heart, the young pastor took a long trip to the Baptist Book Store and presented me with the red King James Bible.

O man! I began to read in earnest. Wow! Those written words began to jump out of the pages into my heart. I could hardly put the book down. But I was under a lot of pressure taking care of 7 children under 10 years old, 3 from my own and the other 4 from different families. So much strife was going on between us all while I was enthralled with the discovery of the Bible. It all ended up with a complete nervous breakdown, my mind snapped! It is all recorded in my autobiography published in 2005 out of print but you can read a free version here: https://acrobat.adobe.com/id/urn:aaid:sc:us:cf58a996-ee08-49d1-a478-a6b63337d039 .

Creating New Memories …

Anyhow, that happened in the span of 74 years of my life. A past that has troubled and caused me the degeneration not only of my body but also in my attitude towards life in general. Even so, it is a past that has ceased to trouble me now in this 2022-2023 year coming to close on November 22, 2023. What a year it has been! A time to create new memories from the old ones.

New Memories Created …

Indeed! I can candidly mention that past now without affecting me of anyone in a negative way because the way at look at life now with a new perspective dotted to me from on high, no doubt about it. The neat thing is that the leading and protection from on high comes to me from different reliable sources just appearing without my asking or searching from them. And that’s the way the DM came to me.

What Is My Attitude Now? …

Like night & day happened with different circumstances every day or night so does my attitude. Everyday my attitude happens with different circumstances. The best part? I am now empowered to handle those circumstances like a pro.

Quote:

My potential to succeed is infinite.   I have the power to change.   I respond to difficulties with grace and confidence.   I embrace my vulnerability.   I live in the moment.   I am A-Okay whatever it rains or shines! Simply? It never ceases to amaze me. End of quote.

While I was recording the matter last night much hurt prevented me from ending my record so? I headed to bed on Wednesday, November 15, 2023, at 12:37 am. I had quite a time getting situated to relieve my pain and sleep. But sleep finally came. I woke up around 5:30 am. It’s now Wednesday, November 15, 2023, at 6:50 am, time for me to start this day empowered like I never been before.

• Wednesday, November 15, 2023, at 8:40 pm.
• Exhausted, I went to bed.
• It was a testing day again.
• I changed my meal menu to see what would happen.
• It was not a good idea to do so.
• In the other hand, I got a surprise call from my Koury family in Jordan.
• I also had a great chat with my Denise, and I got to talk to my Jude in Arizona.
• I spent the whole afternoon on the phone but then something so special took place.
• In my quest to optimize the graphic I am to post I began to search for pictures I needed to include.
• In my search for pictures, I checked my old downloads folder.
• Wow! I found the childishly-simple-premium-child theme.
• Can you imagine that?
• I purchased that theme in 2013 for the measly sum of $4.98.
• I used it for a while then I decided to venture into the wide world of experimenting with numerous other ways & methods to blog.
• To this day I have continued to experiment with this whole affair of blogging to my exasperation going from bad to worse.
• Pity, isn’t it?

Well? Today Is A Turning Point …?

I have been at an accelerated learning point of my life. For what purpose? To establish me in the position of the head instead of the tail. I have lived my life as the tail for the most part. What kind of talk is that? Reminders popping in my head directing me to go in the way I am to go in the rest of my life.

• Must head for bed on Thursday, November 16, 2023, at 5:32 pm.
• Friday, November 17, 2023, 1:09 am.
• Well? Another day after my 7 hours of sleep.
• What was I doing while sleep overtook me?
• Editing the record of the day.
• Time to continue the task now.
• Let me see.

It was Thursday, November 16, 2023, at 4:47 am. Yesterday was my Denise’s birthday. I must figure out how to celebrate it. For one thing, I must continue to listen & obey that voice within my being. What am I to quote on this day to get an idea of what is happening in my life that could affect the rest of my family as well as the rest of my readers. Why are things happening the way those things are happening?

Here Is The Unquestionable Reason For It All …?

O mine! I set myself up to search for the blessings record but instead I found the most amazing record of the post I recorded on Wednesday, December 20, 2017, at 12:56 am. Amazing! The year 2017 is the year when my whole life turned on the way up to where I am now. Now I must figure out how to post what I intend to post today. What I have been intending to post since I posted last.

• Break time to reflect on the matter on Thursday, November 16, 2023, at 6:07 am.

What A Day This Is Turning Out To Be …

I had forgotten that today we were to the Library for a Christmas celebration. So? I barely had time to get ready to go. It was a nice affair. I had the opportunity to fellowship with Linda. Also, on coming back Diana asked Linda to drive me home while she had to go to take care of other matters. That was a blessing for it gave me the chance to share my testimony with Linda.

• Next thing? I headed to collect my order.
• Everything is OK except for my posture vest—too small.
• Disappointed? Of course, but then I had the power to let go of such.
• I put on my new high-top shoes.
• I headed to show them to Diana.
• I came back to head for bed.
• Well? Back to Why are things happening the way those things are happening …?

At last! Here Is The Unquestionable Reason For It All …?

Confession, I am aware of my misgiving about coming out straight to the point of this matter. Why do I hesitate to come clear to the answer to the question? Because the answer is powerfully rejected by the most skeptical human beings inhabiting the world. Fear!

What Is It That I Fear? Good Question! …?

Well? So far, I sense that my children are beginning to enjoy my presence back into their lives. That means a lot to me but! But then? Coming out with the answer to the question of why things are happening the way that are happening these days would offend my children.

Hey! That’s What I Fear! What A Parading Of My Humanity!

I might as well accept the fact that as a human I tend to behave so as to attract attention; show off. I say that because the way I feel when the attention in a gathering goes to somebody or something else. Yeah, the worse? I pity the other party for being such a ‘show off’. Pittiful, isn’t it?

Let Me Cut To The Chase …?

I must remember the fact that I am not responsible for anyone’s reaction to my posts. No kidding! The best part? I am to be still, to wait, to write & publish all inspired words at any moment as I observe it all developing in the midst of my present living setup. Ha! Guess what again. I am now empowered to publish again that post in 2013 despite all my fears and missgivings.

My Bravado Is Troten Down …?

Somehow I wound up reading Diana’s updated page in FB. Suddenly I felt my heart constricting. In shock with my reaction I figured the best thing to do was to lay down, go to sleep. I slept for a couple of hours. It’s now Friday, November 17, 2023, at 9:14 am. I am now able to think clear.

• My thoughts are becoming clearer.
• I deserve to feel joy.
• I take many conscious breaks every day.
• I have the chance to slow down.
• I always find a way to keep moving forward.
• I will now see about heading to Diana’s to seek her help with the order.
• Friday, November 17, 2023, at 9:38 am.
• Diana is busy right now.
• So, I went ahead to fix & eat my brunch.
• Now I am ready to clearly record what is the best course of action to take under the moment’s circumstances.
• For one thing, we are enjoying our company more than before.
• There is no need for me to engage in controversial issues which the post in 2013 is all about.
• All controversies are in the mind of the Creator’s plan to restore us to the original intent for our creation, to be loved by Him and for us to love Him in return.
• This is a matter ingrained within us that shows in the relationships of parents and children.
• We conceive our children with the wholesome intent to love and take care of them, molding them in the image of ourselves.
• Of course, such is an instinct that we hardly recornize.
• My instructions at the moment is to create new memories from the past/present.
• That is what I shall continue to do from now on.

Prodigy Children …

That is what this generation is all about. Diana is the first one I recognized but, in the long run, I have been observing the amazing talents and glorified positions that my 7 children possess. Not only my 7 but also their friends who were part of their growing up as well as their mates and their mate’s families. Amazing!

How Clear I See It All Now …?

The suffocating fears that have troubled me in the past are becoming extinct, giving way for me to realize the beauty in the thread of our lives. The best part? I see how it is the same for my precious seven. I am looking forward to that embracing each other to become a reality.

Until the next post, lov, thia