Chapter 1

Going On Steady Upwards Not Backwards …

But nothing is happening the way I thought …

Well? I went ahead, I posted the introduction to the book. This is neat. I posted the introduction Tuesday, September 10, 2024, only 3 day ago, but so much has happened to change everything I had planned to format the book. Even so?. It’s now Saturday, September 14, 2024, at 3:22 am. I am ready to start this day waiting on You, my Master, even for the words I am to use to handle the difficult situations that daily develop.

Difficult Situations that Daily Develop? …

Ha! Now I am getting a handle of how to craft this book! It Is My Journey—my journey no one else’s journey. So? It is the story of the journey I am traveling on from defeat to recovery. Is the story of a journey in the process of transformation.

My Soul Is Free. It’s a wonderful life for us, not just for me.’

Vacillating. No problem. My soul is free from anxieties. Besides, certainty, resolution, decisiveness, confidence, trust, belief, faith, far outweigh my vacillating. The truth is that I am waiting for things to develop without my acting from my ideas of helping others or myself. When is time for me to act, I will act with certainty. But!

I Am Concerned …

You know it, my Master. I am concerned about my eating and working habits. I am beginning to see that what troubles me when I see the trend in this generation fits me as well. Is my heart overburdened and depressed (weighed down) with the giddiness and headache and nausea of SELF-INDULGENCE, drunkenness, and worldly worries and cares pertaining to the business of this life? I need to hear from You, my Master. I wait.

Ah! The Wiles Of The Devil! …

Yes! The devil exists despite the skeptics, atheists, agnostics, etc. the worst part? The devil exists within me! What? O me! I just thought about it! No kidding! No wonder why I am in the predicament I am in. That ego inside my brain! That’s the one whispering to me all these evil thoughts against me! And me? O me! Yesterday? My ego whispered to me that I was self-indulgent! And the Scripture was quoted to me. Why? Because I aim to distribute that Scripture big time! I created a graphic frame and set that Scripture in it with the title “A Loving warning”.

Ha! Ha! Ha! I Am Now To Become A Crusader! …

Let it be! This is too good! I asked for it. Yes, I did! Do you, dear reader, take notice of my predicament yesterday? After quoting the Scripture, I prayed, “I need to hear from You, my Master. I wait”.

Well? It’s now Saturday, September 14, 2024, at 1:00 am. I have been up for about an hour. I woke up feeling pretty good. I think I woke up dreaming that I was eating brisket with Patsy. But as soon as I entered the living room, I saw the empty hook where my house key is to hang. I remember that Maya put the key in her pocket when we went to check the mailbox. No problem. Maya was distracted yesterday and forgot to return the key to the hook, but of course, doubt, fearful whispers began to rumble in my ears about what people could think of my carelessness to guard my key. I thought to myself, “Who cares! I don’t have to fear anything! My Master is in control!”

Suddenly! It All Came Together For Me! …

Honestly? I am my worst enemy. Correction, I have been my worst enemy until this moment of time. I know now Who is Who for sure. No kidding, there are two natures within my being, one is my carnal nature, the other is the nature that the Creator breathed within my being when He created me.

What Now? What Am I To Do? …

Be still. Surrender my will to the Master of my being. Wait. The whole matter of this situation with the two natures within the human being will come to light for each individual as we progress to the end of time. No need for me to express anymore than how it has come to me.

Well? Am I Supposed To Become A Crusader? …

What? What is a crusade? Crusade: A concerted effort or vigorous movement for a cause or against an abuse. Crusader: a disputant who advocates reform. The question is, Am I Supposed To Become A Crusader? Dear me! Not ‘become’, I have been crusading for my Master since 1985 when He commission me to journal my life. But that is not the same as a crusader today.

No need for me to take matters into my own hands to exhibit my colossal ignorance of what really goes on with the rest of human beings. I am not in this world to change the world with such campaigns. Indeed! I am not that wacky at all! I am wise as a serpent, innocent, harmless, guileless, and without falsity as a dove. Matthew 10 is a reality for me.

Quote:

Matthew 10:16 AMPC+

Behold, I am sending you out like sheep in the midst of wolves; be wary and wise as serpents, and be innocent (harmless, guileless, and without falsity) as doves. [Gen 3:1]. End of quote.

But Nothing Is Turning Out To Be As I Thought …

It’s now Saturday, September 14, 2024, at 2:07 am. I am on to Post this matter as the first chapter of My Journey. My Soul Is Free. It’s a wonderful life for us, not just for me. That is not what I had in mind to do, but now I understand why I was not inclined to publish only what I published last. I am now really enthused; I don’t have to publish what has already been published. This is truly ANEW, AFRESH in a new but different way. As I am inspired to, I will post this entry as Chapter 1. lov, thia.

Better Than Expected …

Saturday, September 14, 2024, at 9:15 pm. Bed. Up around 2 am on Sunday, September 15, 2024. It’s now Sunday, September 15, 2024, at 9:19 am. I just concluded that I am refraining from ordering things indiscriminately. Big step forward for me. I can hear the clamor from the peanut gallery! Ha! Ha! Now what should I expect a reward? Oh! But it is so hard to be a saint!

Seriously, I Tremble When …?

When I get the picture of what is happening in this crazy world I inhabit, and me? Obsessed with things like crazy! I need this or that, every day I invent another thing needed. And Yes! That is my ego sucking me in into materialism. But of course, the same ego is telling me that I am too hard on myself. That my problem is I do not love myself. Or another suggestion or approach to distract or to push me in whatever direction I choose.

No, I am not rambling on. I am as serious as a heart attack. And no, I am not attempting to practice stoicism or to vest myself in sac clothes. Or to walk on pins and needles. I don’t have to, I have surrendered my choices to my Maker as He commands me to do. Thus, He knows better than me what are my needs, and He is providing those needs superabundantly.

Indeed! It’s Better Than Expected …

It’s now Sunday, September 15, 2024, at 9:44 pm. I have been sleeping since around 5 pm. I don’t feel good. Evil thoughts of sickness and disease flash through my carnal mind. No matter. I fear not. Now I know which way the cookie crumbles. I refuse to pay mind to the evil within, without me. I hear quite clear, “Do not be seized with alarm and struck with fear; only keep on believing.” That was a request for the impossible, the daughter was dead, why trouble the Master?

In my case? I have been suffering with chronic pain for years. Everything has been done to relieve my malady to no avail, but the Master has promised me to restore my health and my wealth. The truth? He is doing so, only He is fulfilling His promises to me in His way and on His time. And when I am feeling down and out with pain, dizziness, and all kind of evil threats in my mind, He speaks encouraging words to me.

All Is Well in My Paradise, Sitting On Top of The Mountain Alone With Him. lov, thia.