From page 9
Coming to me at exactly 7:39 pm on this Sunday, January 19, 2020. Why am I so disgusted at the sight of Ahmad’s beggarly state?
- Hum! Isn’t that the same beggarly state and condition of myself not that many day ago? ‘Please come! I miss you!’! Disgusting!
- So? You gifted me a son to take care of me the rest of my life before Your return.
- How did I come to make an idol out of my gifted son?
- Just letting my emotional motherly affection for Ahmad run to make up for the missing affection from my own children.
- Wow! Emotions. Emotional. The factory to concoct our own idols. The clever ways to give birth to our own Ishmaels. What a revelation!
Enlightenment By Conviction …
What does ‘conviction’ mean? I have been convicted or found guilty of the idols I been hiding in my heart. By the dictionary:
- (Law) the act or an instance of convicting or the state of being convicted
- The judgment of a jury or judge that a person is guilty of a crime as charged.
- The state of being found or proved guilty: evidence that led to the suspect’s conviction.
The Question Is, How Do I Find Myself At The Judge’s Court?
Suffering. Suffering the ills, we give and take. Suffering the ills from and to our own Ishmaels. Ha! So? that’s what You mean by, ‘this once’! Quote:
Therefore [says the Master] behold, I will make them know–[yes] this once I will make them know My power and My might; and they will know and recognize that My name is the Master.
- Ha! and all the time I thought You were referring to them. Me? O well! Me? I didn’t place myself in the equation at all! Duh!
- You led me to bed to digest the matter at 8:50 pm.
- You heard my thanks for Your conviction and my repentance.
- You then gave me to sleep until past midnight.
What Is This All About, My Master? …
Monday, January 20, 2020 at 1:04 am.
I dare not to make any conclusions. I sense the power of Your love, Your mercy, Your wisdom to convict me. To give me the power to repent. Now what, my Master?
On to page 11