Why My Thirty Some Years Testimonial Journal …

Ha! The Matter It’s Just Now In 2019 Revealed To Me To Pass On To You …




Well? I Had A Full Day Gone By. Another Day Now …

Monday, October 14, 2019 at 12:44 am.

And a Monday at that. Ahmad’s visit? Meaningful at best. Things are in the looking up between us again. He left. I finished with the posting.

Meanwhile? Midnight Came And Went Along With All My Fears …

Ready now to hit the bed again. Thanks, my Master for the few more hours of sleep. This is another day in the up and up despite of whatever comes my way.

Fearless? A Supernatural State Meant To Be, But! …

Monday, October 14, 2019 at 3:40 am.

Indeed! Supernatural fear is the beginning of all wisdom. Natural fear? The hindrance to such wisdom. Ha! I never thought about that! Didn’t quite understood all those ‘fear’ and ‘fear not’ until this moment.

Naturally Fearless I Tried Every And All Things …?

I simply did not know what fear was. Perhaps impulsive nature is the fitting word. No idea of what it was to pause or think before I acted.

My Medical Label? Bipolar. Manic Depressive. Schizophrenia …

Man O man! And all the time? O my Master! I was supernaturally gifted big time; it was Your secret to me. Why? Obviously, should You not kept Your secret? No telling the heights I would have ascended to dethrone You.

Wow! You Cut The Wings Of This Eagle! You Kept Me In The Chicken Pen …

Hahaha! I was born an eagle, but! You cut my wings to keep me in the chicken pen to teach me the life of the chickens was not to be my life.

Amazing moment …?

Monday, October 14, 2019 at 5:19 am.

Master? You are simply AWESOME! The way You are unraveling my life? It’s just a wonder to me. I woke up in pain almost two hours ago this morning. Had no clue on what to do. Suddenly!

My Truncated Attempts To Ascend The Ladder Of Success Pops Into My Mind, And?

You opened my eyes to see clearly Your loving hand underlying all those truncated attempts of mine with the story of the eagle in the chicken pen.

Wow! I Been Quoting From This Story For The Longest But! …

This day? The story popped up with the spiritual connection to it. I don’t remember reading the version that popped as I searched for it in my files. Even so?

I’m Beginning To Think You Inserted That Version Supernaturally In My Files …

Honestly. I been knowing the story to the point of the eagle flying up to meet its kind. The added amazing spiritual significance of the story? First time You set my eyes on it.

Wow! Talking About Another Day In The Up And Up Despite Of Whatever Comes My Way …?

This is that day! This is that moment of eternal time in my life. This is Yourself revealing, showing, making Yourself real to me. Quote:

John 14:20-21

At that time when that day comes you will know for yourselves that I am in My Father, and you are in Me, and I am in you.

The person who has My commands and keeps them is the one who really loves Me; and whoever really loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I too, will love him and will show, reveal, manifest Myself to him. I will let Myself be clearly seen by him and make Myself real to him.

O My Master! The Effect Of Your Power Of Love And Wisdom Is A Sheer Bliss! No Kidding …

Beauty, delight, hope joy happiness and renewal in the present earth as it is as well as in the future restored one. Nothing like I ever imagined to be. Unimaginable but real!

  • Quote of this supernatural version in my files. Don’t know who wrote it or how it is in my files. Wow! That’s Your supernatural ways if I ever thought about it before. Quote:

The story was about a farmer who stumbled upon an eagle’s nest with an egg in it. Not wanting the little eagle to die he took it home with him and places it under one of his chickens that was setting eggs.

But right from day one the little eagle didn’t fit into the barnyard scene even though that was all he had ever known.

All he was sure of was somewhere deep inside something was telling him, “This isn’t home”. The farmer kept his wings clipped in hopes he would become a pet so unable to fly he set it on a post in the barnyard looking up into the sky.

His body confined to the earth his heart in the heavens. He didn’t know why nor he could understand his feelings, but he knew there that something deep within him that wanted to be free.

As time went by the farmer forgot to clip the eagle’s wings and one-day as the eagle set on his post looking upward a great gust of wind caught him under his wings and he was lifted from his perch.

With a scream of victory and freedom he left the barnyard seen forever and soared into the heavens to meet his own kind.

Isa.40: 31, I loved this story and saw how it related to all we have experienced and are experiencing in our walk with the Lord. Eagles here are symbolic of certain Christians. The “mount up” process is important and necessary for those who are called to go higher, Philp.3:14. To those who are willing to wait in His presence, Ps.27:14; Ps.37:34; Ps.62:5; Rom.8:25.

Not everyone who enjoys God’s blessings, grace will want to destroy the idols of this world that have been set in the temple of their hearts. Nor will they want to pay the price to soar with the Father. Only those who know they have been called to a higher calling will want to consider this.

Chickens are earthbound, they keep their eyes on the things of this world, Jam.4:4; 1Jh.2:15-16. They scratch out an existence and never lift their heads to look any higher then where they are.

They scratch in the dirt, eat whatever is thrown to them and search greedily in their crowed barnyards for more to fill their bellies, much of it unclean. By nature chickens are an unclean bird, they are bound to their existence and are satisfied with it.

But not the eagle, he has an inherited nature that will not survive confinement. To fulfill his purpose in life he must be free to soar the heavens. It may look lonely up there because not many will dare to rise to such heights. But the eagle doesn’t care; it’s not in his nature to need the approval of the majority. Deut.32:11;

Its time for these “willing eagles” to soar and our “Mother”, the Holy Spirit, is the one who will make our nest very uncomfortable. Just like the mother eagle that tears up the soft bed of her little one and breaks the twigs so that the jagged ends stick him. In short his life becomes miserable in the place he was once comfortable and safe.

Are “Heavenly Parents”, do much the same things in our lives in order to get us to do what is best for us, thus fulfilling our purpose for being here or should I say, fulfilling the will and purpose of our Father. 1Cor.13:11; Gal.4:1-2; Heb.5:12-6:2;

Has your place in the Father, the place that once met the needs in your life now seem rough, tight or uncomfortable?

Don’t worry; your Father is just getting you ready to be pushed off a cliff and into new heights.

Are the jagged edges of that which was once such a comfort to you now starting to prick you?

Maybe you have even asked if you were in the Fathers will. Well, wonder no more, accept it in faith, because a great work is about to come forth in your life and it’s not the Father’s wrath it’s His love and wisdom, making you willing to take the next big step, off that cliff.

By nature we love security so God has to make us sick of our “nest”, so that we will willingly let Him take us on our spiritual journey.

Unfortunately some do not want to leave the nest. When the little eagle rebels the mother eagle starts to beat her wings and the wings that once protected him from danger have now become his enemy.

To escape this danger the little eagle climbs onto her back and now wherever she goes, he will go. He holds on for dear life as his mother soars higher and higher when suddenly without warning she dives out from under him.

He screams and falls; instinctively his wings stretch out to try to catch the air but try as he must he feels like all hope is gone, then out of no where mother eagle swoops under him and carries him up on her wings. Ps.139:10; Josh1:5.;

But just as the little eagle feels safe once more the bottom falls out from under him and the process starts all over again, until he finely learns to soar.

Sometimes the flutter of our Fathers wings makes us think He is going to beat us to death but the bible says if we do not receive correction we are not His sons, Heb.12:5-8.

When we are willing He takes us to great heights. Then sometimes when everything seems wonderful the bottom suddenly drops out from under us again and we wonder Father where are you? But just who do you think that is holding you up and restoring your strength?

Only to find out this process may start all over again as we grow, until we come into that fullness He has prepared for us, the place where we learn to soar in the Father. Eph.4:13-16

When a baby eagle flat refuses to learn after all of his mother’s attempts to teach him she takes him high into the heavens and lets him fall to his death as she screeches in pain, knowing he must either fly or die on the rocks below.

In the kingdom there are those who flat refuse to grow, Jer.10:2; Matt.11:29-30. They resent the furnace of affliction and its purifying fire, Isa.48:10; Pro.17:3; Heb.12:29, they love the safety of the nest but hate the discipline.

But God is always patient, 1Cor.13:4-8; Jam.5:7; 2Thes.3:5, and long-suffering. He works with them, giving them chance after chance. Until He finely let’s them fall to the rocks of religion, worldly desires, or home to save their souls, Isa.57:1-2.

If Jesus had to learn through what He suffered then so will all of us, Heb.5:8. We have seen some of these great ministries come in, soar and then crash.

This does not lessen the true revelations they received or the gifts they walked in. But the word says Lk.9:62, it would have been better for them if they had stayed with the chickens in the safety of the barnyard.

God’s tests are carefully designed to show us what is in our hearts and to bring our rebellion to the surface to be dealt with. Heb.4:12; Jer.17:9-10;.

God’s chosen are coming through these fires. I loved what Isaiah said when he saw his heart, Isa.6:5. End of quote.

Wow! Now Is The Time For The Material To Decrease. For The Spiritual To Increase …?

Monday, October 14, 2019 at 8:43 am.

Master? My heart is heavy. Peace. Power! Wisdom! Courage! Endurance? It’s a heavy subject. Even so? You are carrying the weight for me. Don’t let me ever forget it. Don’t let me ever  think that I am anything on my own.

I Am Going On Propelled By Your Power Of Love And Wisdom …

Monday, October 14, 2019 at 3:15 pm.

Master? I can’t overcome this heaviness in my soul because the statement I read, something like, “I am love. When I enter a room? Love covers that room.”

I Fear The Repercussions From Such Statement …

I am?  Mercy my Father. Only You are. In essence to state “I am love” we are setting ourselves in Your Place. We are usurping Your Authority.

Have Mercy. O My Master! I Refuse To Doubt You …

The fear of rejection is driving Your children to this insane attempt to take Your place, and? You knew it all along. Yet You promised to bring us back. I wait on Your mercy.

New Life Really Began On 2017, But!

Monday, October 14, 2019 at 11:28 pm.

Three years later I find myself heavy with the realization that things at large are quite frightening. This 2019? The year of my Jubilee! My 80th birthday marks that beginning as my eternal reality. Even so?

O My Master? You Know Exactly The Solution To My Heaviness …

Every inch of my body hurts, but? I am not disturbed about it because I know You are in control of it all. Been sleeping hoping for relief to no avail. I hear thunder. Computer off. 11:53 pm.

Where Was I, My Father? I’m Feeling Better …

Tuesday, October 15, 2019 at 2:09 am.

What’s the meaning of this fly literally attacking me? How can a fly be so distracting? Thankfully You gave it to me. It’s dead. Anyhow?

You Have A Reason For Bringing Up This File From 2017 …

Tuesday, October 15, 2019 at 3:25 am.

It was written in January of 2017. Your reason? A reminder of how my new life is developing under Your careful plan. Amazing work within me in less than two years.

Comes January 2020? Will Begin My 3rd Year Living A New Life …

Tuesday, October 15, 2019 at 4:39 am

  • Thunder! Computer off!

Back! The Storm Subsided Around 6 Am. But! …

Tuesday, October 15, 2019 at 10:23 am.

I been updating the header for the main site. I don’t know exactly what to do? Reformat the newfound file or work in the Promised Land book. I am now sleepy. I wait of Your lead.

Master? My Arm Is Getting Worse Instead Of Better …

Tuesday, October 15, 2019 at 3:21 pm.

You are the only One I wish to help me. Unless You heal me, I refuse to seek for help from the human element. Why? Because the human element does not know my body. Maybe sleep could help.

Yes! Peace. Power! Wisdom! Courage! Endurance! The End? Saved! Restored! But!

Tuesday, October 15, 2019 at 7:00 pm. – 9:34 pm.

I Must Count The Cost. The Cost Is High. Nothing Is Free …?

Everywhere one turns around nowadays one gets the big sign pushed, FREE! Me? I been a sucker for free stuff ever since I got wind of the Internet.

Well? All That Is In A Past I Now See Objectively …

Yeah, my books are free for lack of a better word: Valuable. The thing is that nowadays the name of the game is ‘Marketing!’ everything is about buy and sell.

  • My eyes are closing. Sleep 10:07 pm. Woke up around midnight. Couldn’t stay up. Back to bed slept until around 1:30 am. My life’s pattern of sleep anyhow.

Thinking On The Counting The Cost Issue …

Wednesday, October 16, 2019 at 2:24 am.

What is the connection between free and counting the cost? What does it mean to count the cost? To count the cost means to count what is the cost of whatever given for free or without money payment, but!

O My Master! You Are Opening My Eyes To See That Nothing Is Really Free …?

Even our salvation is by no means a freebie. In fact? Our salvation has the highest price tag in this world despite all the fanfare about grace and unconditional love.

The Unbiased Truth: What Is Our Salvation Cost? Our Present Worldly Lifestyle …?

Honestly? I never realized this matter before. Even so? This matter is not news. I have heard it before. The only confusing matter to me is that many of the ones preaching the matter to me in the past do not live it themselves now.

Even So? Despite What I See You Have The Perfect Number Who Are Living It And?…

Wednesday, October 16, 2019 at 9:49 am.

You have blessed me with their testimony. Those are the instruments You have used to bring me to where I am now. Like them? I have not bowed my knees to kiss the glory of a worldly life.

A Worldly Life? Not Necessarily A Sinful Life …?

That’s what has made it so confusing until now that You are revealing these matters to me. It’s been devastating for me to see the ones that once quietly and humbly helped me are now in the lime-light and no longer have any time for me.

Ha! The Matter Is Clear Now. It’s No Longer Confusing To Me, Why? …

O my Master! Because You are now unraveling these matters to me. Every single incident in the human’s life happens to fulfill the Scriptures.

The Rejection In Mathew 10. The Great Fallen Away In 2 Thessalonians 2. The dreadful end for the self-righteous in Matthew 7? …

Must Be Fulfilled. Even so? There is hope. O my Master! You are now revealing to me, it’s all written for examples for us now to avoid the final judgement.

Wow! What A Revelation! It Dispelled All My Fears’ Spell …?

Wednesday, October 16, 2019 at 3:20 pm.

O my Master! Moment by moment You make Yourself real to me. It came to me to illustrate how You have dispelled all my fears, so? Been looking for words You inspired to me before on the matter to no avail.

Frustrating! On Top Of That? Ahmad Not Answering My Calls …?

As usual? I gave up. I went to bed to try to sleep. I called on You. Sure enough. Within minutes my phone rang. Ahmad on the line.

  • “My father is seriously ill. My brothers and me been with him. He does not want to go to the hospital. The wife taking care of him, no time to cook.”
  • Me? “No problem Ahmad! I understand. I’m OK. Don’t worry about me. Take care of your father.”

All Fears And Frustrations? Gone! Then? …

It came to me where to look for the words I been looking for to no avail. I got up. Turned the computer on. Went straight where it came to me to look.

Wow! You Are Faithful To Your Promise To Reveal Yourself To Me …

And so? The rejection in Mathew 10. The great fallen away in 2 Thessalonians 2. The dreadful end for the self-righteous in Matthew 7 have been three fears that troubled me until now.

Those Scriptures Must Be Fulfilled. Even So? There Is Hope.

O my Master! Yes! It’s all Happening now as it’s written to fulfill those words, but! Behold! You Power Of Love despite our rebellious doings.

No Matter What? The Power Of Your Love And Unfathomable Wisdom? It Never Fails. It Always Avails!

Behold! The Plan Of Restoration To The Original Intent For Our Creation!? To be loved to love in return. Loved to love.

This Day You Revealed Yourself To Me To Dispel All Fears By Your Power Of Your Love And Wisdom …

Wednesday, October 16, 2019 at 9:59 pm.

Master? You know I don’t feel good. Slept from around 4 pm to 7:28 pm. Could not stay up. Hurting bad. Went back to bed. Slept until my little friend woke me up with food around 9:17 pm.

Master? I Don’t Know What To Do. I’ll Go Back To Bed And Wait On You …

It’s now Wednesday, October 16, 2019 at 10:11 pm.

I’ll wait. I’m sure You have a purpose for all details of my daily living. Perhaps Ahmad’s situation with his Father at the point of death is why I am feeling this way. You’ll show me. I am sure.

Through The Wilderness Of Life You Have Brought Me To Yourself …

Thursday, October 17, 2019 at 3:25 am.

Through much tribulation I have entered Your Kingdom even now while on these forsaken grounds. Your Presence illuminates and dispels the darkness of all fears in my mind.

Fears Dispelled You Make Me Well. Pain At Bay A Bright Smile I Can Now In Your Presence Display …

Thursday, October 17, 2019 at 3:48 am.

The fear of repercussion for all our rebelliousness sayings and doings caused me much pain in the last couple of days, but! You showed me Yourself. You made Yourself real to me as You promised to do.

Yes! There Is Repercussion From Our Present Actions …?

Repercussion or an effect or result of some previous action or event is inevitable, but! Your unfathomable wisdom and passionate love for us is also inevitable.

Thus? Though You Feed Us The Bread Of Affliction Because Of Our Sins …

Our Teacher does not hide Himself from us anymore. So? We learn how to be loved, how to love in return. Nothing like all the notions of love we humans have conjured!

That’s Why My Thirty Some Years Testimonial Journal …?

That’s The Matter Just Now In 2019 You are Revealing To Me To Pass On To Your loved ones scattered in the four corners of the earth.

Wow! Time To Close This Post On Thursday, October 17, 2019 At 4:09 Am.

Enjoy! Deploy!

Much love to all.

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