Hardest Blow To My Face In A While ….?
From The Dining Room In My Soul …
Thursday, November 15, 2018 at 9:13 am.
O My Father—O Father Of Mine? Unless You intervene? I am finished! There is not a smidgen of hope left within me. My heart is tore into a million pieces. I can’t go on, my Father!
Unless ….?
You give me something concrete to grab on to? I can’t see how I can get over this blow! What on earth for am I proclaiming the restoration of my family?
Everyday? I get the notification emails about a new post or comment or photo. I head to Facebook hoping in my heart they remember to honor their mother somehow, but! Nothing! Instead?
Happy faces. Shorter skirts. Lower necklines. A moral standard? Whatever for? Anything goes as long as you are happy! Amazingly beautiful homes. Happy gatherings. Travels all over the world. Love and hate as they see fit. Applauded by the world at large. The life of success, but!
Not a sign that they even have a mother. How can I accept the immoral lifestyle of homosexuality and now the Pollyanna relationships among my children? I can’t. I won’t.
Perhaps the best thing I can do right now is to quit.
Quit Facebook. Quit posting. Quit hoping. Quit reaching out. Quit replying. Just quit bothering with this insanity ridden world period.
I will shut down the Internet. I refuse to keep hoping for something that it is not to happen. My sanity is at stake, but? You are in control of it all.
That’s it! I feel better now.
I won’t even let anyone know of my decision. I no longer am what I used to be. You have given me the power and the reason to keep to myself. Thanks, my Father.
You are with me. That’s all I need. You never leave nor forsake me. I’ll do the same for You as You have empowered me to do.
This decision is taking place on Thursday, November 15, 2018 at 10:15 am. It’s now 1:24 pm on Thursday, November 15, 2018.
Father? You know it’ll take time to forget to check the inbox, but! You will get me through this trying period as You always done in the past.
In the meantime? There is much to do. You have supplied enough resources to put together whatever You intent for me to put together. I am going on with You.
Let all this insanity ridden world depart from me. Let Your Presence shine forth greatly—greater than ever before. I worship You!
Friday, November 16, 2018 at 3:18 am.
O my Father? How faithful and real You are!
Yesterday? Gruesome blow to my moral. I cried unto You, “Unless You give me something concrete to grab on to? I can’t see how I can get over this blow! What on earth for am I proclaiming the restoration of my family?”
Last night? Woke up in agony screaming for help! Can’t remember what shook me violently that I was shaking—scared to death, just then? The phone rang. Ahmad on the line. “Open your door!”
I headed to the door still shaking. Ahmad embraced me and began to comfort me. I kept saying, “I’m so scared!” Ahmad calmly calmed me down. He served a cup of coffee from his thermos. Then?
My fright subsided. I was able to share my heart with Ahmad. Ahmad left. I was able to return to my work. Slept from 11:30 pm until 2:30 am today. I’m now ready to resume my task.
It’s now 8:53 am on this Friday, November 16, 2018. Some 56 years ago I was at the hospital giving birth to my second child. Time flies. It feels that day only happened yesterday.
I will now turn off and unplug the computer. I’ll take a break. Will see what develops. Back on. It’s now Wednesday, November 21, 2018 at 11:30 am. Two hours of sleep did me good.
Moments Of Enlightening, But Then? We Stagnate …
Things are working out fine. My compulsions are coming under control. Funny thing? We all have our moments of enlightening, but then? We stagnate. Why?
A simple matter I have experienced myself. At anytime of inspiration? We set ourselves up to minister that inspiration to the whole world.
We build up our ministries that sometimes grow to an immense follow up, and? There we are! At par with any other worldly leader leading the flock astray.
Under the beams of the lime light we proclaim, “In everything you do put ‘God’ first, but! Who is standing above the multitude’s applaud? Is it ‘God’ or is it ‘ME’?
No Posting For Now ….
Be a long time before I ever post again. Who am I kidding? I have posted enough. Now is time for Father to do the rest. My love for Him supersedes the love for others as the love for myself.
No problems. No worries. Father is in control of it all! He is working all things for the good of all of us. I am free from all my expectations that so frustrated me all my life.
A Thanks To My Father Is Due …
Thanks, my Father. I am relaxed about all of this work that I am doing. In fact? I am enjoying it. And my compulsions, obsessions, and expectations? Don’t bent me out of shape anymore!
It’s another me! You have accomplished the impossible with me! You have set me free. From that old me? You have set me free! Hahaha! HalleluYah!
Wednesday, November 21, 2018 at 7:37 am.
O My Father—O Father Of Mine? You have given me Life & Strength both natural & supernatural. Life & Strength—Natural & Supernatural? Alive & Strong!
Until the next time, yours truly, thiaBasilia.
